guest writer: m. dewayne benson
What's
the price of your self-esteem?
It seems that most of my friends echo a theme that I have often heard repeated in so many ways in social settings and in numerous support and help groups.
What echoes in my ear is that everyone seems to feel shame on some level. Why
is this? Certainly shame devalues us and our self esteem. Certainly regret is a
1/2 step before shame but why do people invest the effort to complete this
trip? As adults we should learn to accept and love who we are and what we have
done! Otherwise we only hold ourselves back from change and/or progress in this life.
So often the cause of this shame is based in our childhood and is often
the echoes of voices that taught us from right and wrong. Well unless you came
from my family that should be true, my family, a nuclear family that blew
apart long before I was 7. So I guess I was blessed never to have that
supervision and to only know shame through the taunts of classmates. But there
is no shame for me because my investment in my self worth is to use my energy
to develop self-pride and self-respect. Certainly this sounds like a difficult
task- and it is- even for one who admits no shame. For one, me, who
invested the price of time and effort to support my belief that shame has no
place in life, yes regret may have, but
I remember a time when my Grandmother was teaching me to
read and write, to fight the ADD and Dyslexia, and having been forced by my
father to use my right hand because as he said many times "No son of mine
is going to be a lefty freak". I asked her "Grandma, am I a
freak?" She responded with the wisest words I have ever heard- "No
you are perfect, perfectly imperfect. Just the way God made you!" and with
that one statement she invested in my self-esteem and it has paid off everyday
of my life. Yes we are all perfectly imperfect. Forget the shame, learn and
grow through your regrets and invest in your own self esteem.
Pride creates self worth and shame devalues it!
What do you invest in your self-worth? Your self-esteem?
Because this is wealth or debt you place upon yourself.
Much Love to all of you
M. DeWayne Benson
Comedian, Poet, Writer, POZ speaker
Comments